Dear DocXXX,
It seems more and more that when I have sex, I seem to get too excited and I last only a few minutes. I try not thinking about it and focusing my thoughts on baseball or something, but as soon as we start, I finish too fast. It's stressful sometimes since I'm a single guy and if I meet someone new and it leads to a sexual situation, I worry about arriving too fast.
Is there any way to fix this with some kind of pill, lotion -- or miracle. If there is, can you please list some that can help me?
-- Slow me down
Dear Slow Me Down,
Your problem doesn't seem to be physical, since you say this has only been happening recently. This leads me to believe that you are basically putting too much pressure on yourself. Every time that you bring a new woman home, you're thinking about this the whole way back, probably.
The key to overcoming this problem doesn't lie in creams or pills -- it lies within yourself. You need to become less fixated on this problem, because I can guarantee you that as long as you're worried about it, it will continue to happen. My best suggestion is to find someone with whom you can really share your feelings about this -- A woman who's truly interested in you will be more than happy to help you through this.
And as silly as it may seem, sometimes the old 'There's Something About Mary' trick really does work. Masturbate before you go out on a date, and often your thoughts won't become so sexually fixated. Just make sure that you clean yourself up well afterwards -- That hair gel thing might be funny in movies but in real life you'll probably be spending the night alone!
Ultimately, my best advice to you is to stop worrying about it. The sooner you can get your problem off your mind, the sooner it will disappear from your life.
-DocXXX
