Dear DocXXX,
I have a fantasy that I just can't get out of my head! I want to have sex with my husband in some sort of public place -- Maybe not in the middle of the Super Bowl, but somewhere where a person might just happen by and catch us. My husband thinks it's kooky. Am I totally out there, or is this a common fantasy?
-- Playful in Public
Dear Playful,
Having sex in a public place is actually one of the most common sexual fantasies among both men and women. You're not a kook!
The reason behind this is that in the human brain, the centers that control fear, anxiety and arousal are very close together. Thus, a bit of nervousness or the feeling that you might get caught can greatly enhance arousal. The chemicals from one part of your brain can 'bleed' over into nearby sections, thus getting arousal and fear all mixed up together in one big emotional burst.
Of course, really serious fear can completely kill off sexual arousal. For what you're talking about, though, there should be little chance of that. One thing that you do need to keep in mind when planning something like this is that most states have laws against 'indecent exposure.' Your sexual fantasy might not be quite so fulfilling if you and your husband get arrested!
Most couples who engage in sex in public do so in scenarios and situations in which their chances of actually being caught or offending anyone is pretty low. Just be careful about what you're doing and where you're doing it, and there's no reason why this fantasy of yours can't be fulfilled!
-DocXXX
