I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiance's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.

When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred. . .then she floored me.

She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave.

I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door . . .

There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test.

Doc, should I tell my fiance' what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character? Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

Well, this is certainly one I haven't heard before! It's also a bit different from my normal queries, so I'm not exactly sure what to tell you.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think you should probably keep the whole thing to yourself. What is to be gained by telling your fiance about it anyway? Especially since you were actually going to take her mother up on the offer! It seems like it can only lead to hard feeling between your fiance and her family -- or between your fiance and you.

On the other hand, it is a bad idea to enter into a marriage already holding secrets from one another. If this were to come out a year or two down the road, the damage such a revelation could do might be quite a bit worse. You've certainly got yourself into quite a spot!

My best advice to you is to look inside yourself and decide what it is you want out of your impending marriage. Do you want a relationship built on honesty and trust? And moreover, why were you planning to take her mother up on the offer anyway? What does that say about your love for your fiance and your ability to keep yourself and your libido in check? Are you even really ready to be getting married, if you're so easily led astray?

You have some serious soul-searching to do, Ronnie, and I'm not sure that I can give you a definitive answer either way. My gut feeling tells me to spill the beans, largely because I always try to counsel truth above all else. Of course, I've never run into a situation like this one, either! Whatever you choose to do, good luck!

-DocXXX

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