Dear Doc XXX,
I have a problem I've never seen addressed anywhere else. When I go down on my girlfriend, she tends to have very intense orgasms. So intense, in fact, that she is scared that these overpowering orgasms are going to somehow kill her . She's in her mid 30s and -- as far as we know -- doesn't have any heart conditions or high blood pressure. Still, she's always afraid that her heart is going to stop or explode or something every time I do this.
Because of this fear, she won't let me do it very often. I want to please her, so what can I do to convince her that she will be all right and she should just relax and enjoy it?
-- Love to Lick
Dear Lick,
You may be surprised, but this is not the first time I have heard something like this. Your girlfriend is not alone in thinking that her intense orgasms might somehow harm her. On occasion, individuals may encounter the feeling that such intensely pleasurable experiences are somehow associated with death. People sometimes associate completely letting go with death because they are afraid of both -- the feelings then get all twisted together within. Sometimes it's the rapid heart pumping and the near-blackout levels of excitement that can cause folks to shy away from such activity. Either way, there is no reason to hold on to any of these feelings.
To really enjoy the experience, you are right -- your partner is going to have to relax. The best way for her to relax and feel comfortable is for her to have more information. She needs information to verify that she doesn't have any heart conditions and high blood pressure. Once she is assured she is healthy, she also needs to know that it is completely natural to have quite intense orgasms.
It seems that you and your partner communicate well together. Encourage her and support her to seek the appropriate medical advice, with respect to her health. Your partner should realize, that if she can relax and just enjoy the experience, she is one of the fortunate ones. Some females rarely, if ever, enjoy such giddy orgasmic peaks.
-DocXXX
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